Hi Courtney! That’s a great question, and it’s one that probably piques the interest of many parents and educators of autistic children. However, the broader online autism community has made it clear that autistic people have varied opinions on the matter. If you read through our statements, you’ll find that several authors on our site are autistic and prefer identity-first language. My take is that it’s appropriate to use whatever verbiage sounds best in the moment. Some adults really don’t like being called autistic, so we should respect that. Others can’t stand the clunky sound of “person with autism” or simply feel that, yes, it is part of their person unlike, say, cancer.

A friend and colleague of mine wrote an article on this very subject: https://www.massgeneral.org/aspire/autism-spectrum-disorder/identity-first-language-autism.aspx

I contributed to that article in 2 parts, which I would like to share here:
“Autism is a fundamental part of who I am, who we are, for good and ill. This goes all the way down to our very genetics. It is an identity, much like gender or race or religion. Saying “with/has autism” violates this fundamental truth by implying that you can separate a person from their autism. Consider how uncomfortable the phrase “person with gay” is! Not only are you saying that our autism can and should somehow be removed from us, but in phrases like “person with autism,” you imply that our being autistic is separate from us being people.
…Words guide our worldviews and mentalities. Words matter. These words matter; they affect everything from federal policy to personalized interventions. How we talk about autism changes how we think about autism and what we do in response to autism. And for those reasons, I proudly say that I’m autistic.”

Hi, I’m the author, and I’m autistic. As others have stated here, I’m proud to be autistic, a long with the many other positive qualities that define me. It’s just that in this particular article, I was writing about autism and not my race, gender, or other defining characteristics. I understand that it’s jarring to hear it when you have learned that person-first language is more respectful, however, many of us feel disrespected and discounted by person-first language and we ask that others please respect the way we choose to refer to ourselves.

I’ve given this much thought lately because someone told my son he must be “ashamed of who he was” because he didn’t identify himself to a group as an “autistic person”. His response was to say he was proud of who he was but it wasn’t pertinent to the conversation. He later said sometimes he says autistic person and sometimes person with autism. It depends on what his focus is at the time and what he is trying to convey. We raised him (and our other children) to avoid labels. This was important to us because we wanted to teach inclusion and avoid any “isms” such as racism, sexism, able or disable-ism, or gender exclusions. He is involved with a theater group, Spectrum Theatre Ensemble, and they all approach it differently. They let each individual be unique. They all have an autism component but they are writers, actors, singers, and dancers. Their amalgamation of differences complement the whole and make them successful. I feel whatever is one’s preference, it is most important that we let each person identify in the way that makes them most comfortable and confident. Everyone is different and to demand each person use specific words to identify or introduce themselves may make individuals feel controlled. A majority of people may prefer one description but majorities should not, in my opinion, overrule an individuals right to self-express. Live and let live:)